Innocence Lost
She was only ten years old
The first time she was raped
Her perpetrator was her own father
A man in his forties
To the world he seemed clean-cut
A white-collared man
He had a 9-6 job
Brought in six figures each year
To her mother and the world he was the perfect man
Religious, charitable, wealthy, and caring
But hidden beneath the perfection was a rapist
Who could she turn to
She was ten
Who would believe her
The world would think she is a child
She is lying
She is crazy
If she told people then she would loose her friends
Even her rapist told her he would take away her puppy or would hurt her little brother
So she took it
The rape of a daughter by her own father is unheard of
Talking about boundaries, sex, and what relationships are is taboo in the world
So little Sophie went on
Ten turned to eleven
Eleven turned to thirteen
Fourteen turned to sixteen
Sixteen turned to nineteen
The years went on by
The abuse never stopped
No one heard
Not her brother, not her sister, not her mother, nor the world
As she grew older
the screams became silent
Silenced by the terror she felt
Her body would freeze or tremble when his footsteps approached
She felt like she was the same little Sophie whose innocence was stolen
But something else was now happening to her
Her Anger, fear, and terror turned into guilt and shame
She hated herself
She felt ashamed
She felt guilty
Somehow this ten year old turned nineteen year old woman blamed herself
Maybe she was cursed
Maybe she had done something to deserve her faith
That is when the self-harm began
She began to cut herself
It started with hitting her head because the painful thoughts would not stop
Then she started taking a blade and began cutting herself
It made her feel better
It eased the pain
But after the momentary release
She looked at her body and hated what she was doing to herself
She was going deeper and deeper into a dark abyss
The only way she felt she could get out was to kill herself
Yes, self-harm that exacerbated to the level of suicide
So, she meticulously planned her own suicide out
She left a note for her rapist, her own father
Become involved! Email us at cunypolicy08@gmail.com. We currently have an immediate need for:
* A skilled technician with software to make jpeg files to post letters of support on the tracker
* A graphic arts designer to help our website designer
* Skilled media savvy persons to chronicle CUNY's progress for the students on campus blogs, radio and television.
* Organizations and individuals to endorse our cause (willing to sign a letter of support)
* Organizations and individuals to join Students for a Greater CUNY as a member
No comments:
Post a Comment